By Yinka OLUDAYISI Fabowale
Continued from last edition
Kola Adelegan, a grassroots politician in Amuwo Odofin Local Government, says the new media helped him win the hand of the girl who later became his wife because: “I was able to make her laugh in spite of herself. I gave her romantic words and with the smart phone, one was able to send symbols, smileys, hugs, kisses and so on that make it real, make it easy to express my feelings and mood. It’s still the best form of communication, when it comes to relationships. It’s like you and your lover are together.”
But, a woman met at a shopping centre in Ikeja area says, it is really hard these days to trust and gauge the sincerity of lovers over the impersonal electronic devices. “This,” she says, is because in gone by days people wrote from the depth of their hearts and you can judge their sincerity by the seriousness they put into it and the whole affair of chasing one another, it took time, but these days, you don’t really know who’s saying the truth. Although some write flowery and sentimental things about girls, it’s all false, made up in order to achieve a selfish purpose, which once they achieve, you are a goner!”
Yet another advantage, Mrs. Adelegan, chips in, is that: “You can easily know when you are ignored. If both of you are on line and typing and there’s delay in response, you can easily know if the other party is being rude or uninterested. You can make reference to the chat history if you screen-shot and grab the conversation and then confront and challenge your partner with it afterwards.”
Still speaking up for the new media users, Shirley Tomiwa faults the reasoning that they have rendered youths lazy and complacent as a cheap blackmail. She notes that like other modern technological innovations, they merely facilitate men’s way of doing things and signify development. Hence, she argues that it would be preposterous to expect a culture to stay stuck on a level of development.
“When letters were being hand written,” says Tomiwa, “there are not these facilities then. So, it’s understandable. But, how can anyone insist on giving himself the stress of going to all that trouble and going to mail it or give it to somebody to give to the person for which it is meant, when you can conviniently sit where you are, write and send things to the person and the person will understand and even instantly reply? I think we should be realistic. This is 21st Century, the world has moved on.”
With the waning tradition of love letter writing the kindred culture of cards/gifts presentation has also lost its appeal considerably except, perhaps, among the elite.
Save during Valentine and other festive seasons, sales of affectionate cards and specious, romantic gift items have gone down considerably, especially in small holding neighbourhood bookshops, supermarkets and variety stores across the cities and towns in the country, a market survey by The Sun Literary Review reveals.
In Ibadan, Oyo State capital, for instance, areas such as Agbowo, Oke Bola, Challenge and Mokola which used to thrive in the trade of stationery,greeting cards and other articles, such cards have disappeared the shelves. Even the popular University of Ibadan Bookshop, which used to be a popular sales point, especially in the 1970s and 80s, hardly has such cards on display or in stock. The manager, Mr. Stephen Okhiria, confirms that there has been a drop in patronage of romantic cards, disclosing that the bookshop only keeps a few with theme of apology in stock to cater for the needs of “a few conservative customers”, who, he says, still come around for them.” Okhiria puts the age of the clients at 35 and above. He explains: “As you can see, we have a variety- wedding, birthday, get well cards and during Christmas season, we stock as well. But there has been a drop in demand for those ones (love cards), although before now they sold like hot cake. I remember that even I once bought two for a particular person at the same time”
He says the slump, which he describes as general, had been noticed gradually over the past decades, but became pronounced with the advent of new media, whose combined features of texts, graphics and audio, as well as video had taken card designs and printing to new heights. “You know with the smartphones that support it, some people can have beautiful virtual cards designed, with pictures, frames of their choices and send to their loved ones. You don’t have to go about supermarkets and bookshops looking for any card anymore,,” he adds.
Indeed, the vogue of sending cards and flowers to loved ones has now practically been taken over by the virtual representations. According the UI Bookshop manager, although they are cheap and affordable, youngsters of this generation do not really place much value on greeting cards as the older ones. He told The Sun Literary Review: “The people we see are 35 years and above, 65 year-old… who believe cards still have beautiful lines, rhymes and importance to warrant being looked for and spending money on.”
As a result, the erstwhile flourishing card industry supporting this culture has virtually collapsed with reputable indigenous factories such as International Cards folding up. The development has put many suppliers out of jobs.
Only on shelves of elitist marts such as Glendora in highbrow Ikeja and Stop Centre on Allen Avenue, Lagos, are love cards still to be found in surfeit competing with other variety of cards, with alluring lines that remind one of the glorious past era.
Ms. Sonia Okonji, in charge of customer service at Stop Centre, reputed for sale of imported cards, told The Sun Literary Review that 70 per cent of sales made are from love cards. She says business is good, with a regular traffic of shoppers whom, she says cuts across all social cadres- business people, career people, students, old and young throughout the seasons.
Those who patronise these stores are the upper and middle class residents of exclusive parts of Ogba, Allen Avenue, Opebi, Maryland and Ikeja GRA.
Their counterparts in Ikoyi, VGC, Victoria Island and Lekki used to be served by Glendora at the popular Falomo Shopping Complex, until it relocated to Ikeja, after the mall was pull-down. A source close to the store told The Sun Literary Review that prominent Nigerian leaders including former Vice President Alex Ekwueme and ex- top cop and Inspector General of Police, M.D. Yusuf used to patronize the shop to pick “Get well” cards while still living in Lagos.
However, Eyebiokin corroborates the concern expressed by the elderly about the latter day youths’ sense of values and attachments having gone with the wind. He says: “Even Valentine that was characterized by exchange of cards is gradually being replaced by other gift items. I remember asking ladies randomly what they were expecting or willing to give for val. I got answers like perfumes, cakes, phones, etc. All consumables, but to my surprise, none even mentioned a red rose, let alone Valentine card. So if I send a girl a card expressing my love, she would probably think I’m old school. It’s a reflection of what this generation places value on, in contrast to what obtained in the past.
But the present generation and the old school agree that it is now difficult, if not impossible to push back the hand of the clock to revive the old art of love letter writing. They believe like other hallmarks of history, it belonged to an epoch and would remain there, as the world march on to newer territories of improved lifestyle.
ON BENDED KNEES (A typical love text)
A dream is just a dream till it comes tru. A kiss is jst a kiss till u find d one u luv. A hug is just a hug til u find d one u re always thinking of. Luv was jst a word till I heard it from u: I wonda Y jst when I learned 2 be happy,ur makin me sad. I wonda Y when I learned 2wait,it was then u neva came. And jst when I ve learned 2 luv again ur throwin it all away. </3 Baby it breaks my heart 2 see u drifting away just like ds.
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